#love this fandom and all the posts that has been done
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silvysartfulness · 10 hours ago
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So last night, I finally typed out a few sentences I’ve been keeping in my head for several years – the ending lines of Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It. And then I started crying.
I’m honestly still feeling emotional, thinking about it. I first started writing this story in the summer of 2020, almost 5 years ago, while still recovering from the lingering effects of a life-threatening bout of the original covid virus. It was only a month or so after I first watched the Untamed and got utterly swept away.
I have been working on this fic ever since, and it’s been by far one of the most important things in my life for years – I’ve lost two beloved cats during that time, and gone through a lot of really hard times. This fic was always there, an anchor, both a light and burden.
It ended up 471.000 words long. (For reference, that’s about the same length as the official English translation of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, or just shy of the total wordcount of the LOTR trilogy.)
And it’s done.
It’s finished. I did it. I hauled that insane, gargantuan beast all the way across the finish line.
When I first came up with the outlines of the idea, I was 100% certain I’d never write it down. I hadn’t written fanfic in many years, my brain is chronically damaged from consecutive autistic burnouts to the point of diagnosed clinical disability, and I struggle a lot with fatigue and concentration and memory issues. The idea of writing anything, let alone something of that scope and needing that much research seemed impossible to the point of laughable.
But a friend and writer I really looked up to told me she’d love to read it. So I figured I could at least try to start, see how it went.
I, uh. Didn’t think it’d get quite this long.
I am actually very proud of what I have accomplished! It’ll be a long while yet before I can post all the last 5 chapters – they need beta and edits, illustrations, and getting translated into Russian by my friend in Ukraine. It may be months yet.
But it’s done.
And I could never have done without all the people cheering me on along the way – the friends I made in this fandom, and old friends who decided to come along on this journey with me. Every single person ever commenting, or sending me asks, or drawing me art, or writing nice things in the reblog tags here on tumblr. I am beyond grateful to you all!
Heaven Has A Road is done.
This journey is over. But it’s not really the end.
Just another new beginning.
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hollow-lime-green · 2 days ago
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hi, anon from "t/b discourse is dumb" ask here 👋 this conversation actually is really interesting and i wanna add a little more if thats okay. (how long is the average anon ask? im not new to fandom but i am relatively new to tumblr and its etiquette... so sorry if this is too long. ive done my best to condense it 😭 there's just too much to say and im a rambler)
i hope i didn't come off as blaming anybody for their response to harassment and such, i don't want to contribute to that. my ire is only pointed toward people who make it their business to hurt others over innocuous fandom happenings, those people who leave dickish comments on fics and send anonhate and mass qrt on twitter. but like i said, expecting those kinds of people to go away any time soon is not really something i have hope for at this point. you put it well: people get so emotionally invested --- and i too Love getting emotionally invested when it comes to fiction --- that logic stops being a factor. people all over the internet also tend to struggle with simply disliking something and leaving it there. you're allowed to dislike/disagree with something without turning it into a moral failure when it's all down to preference and the characters involved are not Real
i just wish more people saw the value in Healthy™ discourse. hell, even if someone's opinion ticks you off, that doesn't mean you can't engage in an open minded discussion with them, if you want to. but people can't do that even outside of niche online fanbases.
i would love to share my own opinions on t/b dynamics for satosugu and to learn why others may feel differently. actually, stsg is the first yaoi ship ive been this invested in, though it's been a while now, and reading fics for them has opened up a Lot of doors of thought for me that i wanna talk to someone about. but there's such hostility around the topic that opening that discussion up to the general fandom public hardly feels worth the risk, as much as i want to. that kinda leaves one floating out at sea here. so i have these conversations where i can, but i'll also block people over simple things. not because i think they're evil or their opinions are invalid, but because i really do just want to have fun, and previous fandom experiences have exhausted me with how much of the same repetitive venom i can personally handle at once
welcome back anon, and feel free to ramble away. honestly this has been a nice side quest for me during the thesis-ing, believe it or not.
if you want to have discussions/share takes on stsg (or fandom meta), then feel free to keep sending them anon, and i am happy to host that discussion in our friendly little corner. i haven't gotten anything nasty in my inbox, and i think everyone commenting and engaging with the posts on my blog is pretty friendly and level headed :)
i think it's possible that some people could get offended by your previous ask? but it's very obvious, to me, anyway, that what you are saying with "t/b discourse is dumb" is "this drama is dumb why are we doing this why can't we just have fun". you can twist the words, but that's the clear sentiment that I think 99% of us are trying to get across here.
and that also does not conflict with empathizing with and supporting people who have been targeted by this harassment. in fact, i would say out of anyone, they are probably most securely in the camp of "this drama is dumb please let's stop".
as @fushiglow pointed out, part of the reason fandom can get so vicious is due to depersonalization. none of these people would be acting so fuckin foolish in person. but across the screen, it is a lot safer and easier to be an absolute asshole than when you have to look someone in the face as you tell them that they are literal scum for your opinions on dick in ass, or something.
over the past few months i have been struggling with this in reverse, actually. one of my gaming group members almost definitely voted for trump (white women... we need to talk). i get so worked up when i think about it, because i hate her for it, especially her reasons for it (she is antichoice). and yet, when I see her in person, when we hang out, it is so easy to remember that she is my friend and she held my hair back when I was puking after my other gamer friends gave me too many free beers (blue moon isn't worth it guys).
one other thing i would like to add, and part of why i'm so happy to post this ask, is that conversations are not sentences. you get to clarify. you get to add. you get to change your mind. real 'discourse' (note: this word has lost all meaning in the year of our lord 2025) or debate is an exchange of ideas, whether it's about dick in ass or how we react socially in the situation of being attacked for dick in ass. keeping the conversation going to clarify these things, like your intent with the last ask, is important and necessary! it's what keeps us from being xitter/bluesky. we don't need to live as zingers and soundbytes on a text-based forum. we have the space to express ourselves fully, as many times as that takes. and i think that helps build back the empathy that is lost with the lack of face-to-face, voice-to-voice communication in online spaces.
so in the words of the great philosophers re: t/b discourse:
any hole's a goal
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yohangaontdj · 6 months ago
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Why? - The Summary (Part One)
As this being the last week of our re-watch for TDJ 3rd Anniversary, I thought I will bring up a post I put up a while back.
Its called Why? And here is the link.
And the wonderful people who had replied to my post, explaining better than I did to my friend - Why we love TDJ so much.
Their comments, their tags, I just want to share them with you cause I love reading them so much. And so here we go.
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More in Part Two.
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umblrspectrum · 2 months ago
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i hate perspective. happy new years also
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skatiet · 3 months ago
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shedontlovehuhself · 3 months ago
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Misha: gets praised(again) or acknowledged for continuing to be the most vocal destiel and gay Cas supporter of the Cast.
Hellers on Tumblr: "how can I make this about Jensen?"
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e-likes-bones · 3 months ago
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I saw your post about selfship art requests and I would absolutely LOVE a piece of my sona and Beach!! She absolutely does not match the Rae art style but she’s my little creature (affectionate) and I love her
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hell yeah! your sona is so rad btw i hope i drew her alright haha
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also gave beach the flower yours has because that’s literally your guy! he has the super recognizable flowers!
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aethersea · 1 year ago
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devastating to go into the tag for an obscure vampire movie I've been quietly obsessed with for years to find mostly gifsets of minor characters (played by big-name actors) and review blogs saying they didn't like it :(
@ everyone who made a post saying "I liked it :)" I am blowing you a kiss. everyone who made a lovely gifset or photoset of the cinematography I am tipping my hat. that one poster that said "bro did y'all just miss the Entire Message about class and race or???" I am shaking your hand with enthusiasm there was SUCH a message about class and race
anyway everybody should watch Night Teeth and revel in glitzy flashy modern vampires in LA with me
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geddy-leesbian · 8 months ago
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Trying so hard to not have a mental breakdown on main over something stupid
#a while ago a very beloved mutual unfollowed me and i dont know why#and just realized a more recent mutual unfollowed#and i know it shouldn't bother me so much but it does. especially bc i feel like my recent content has been extremely high effort/quality#so why am i posting such banger content and LOSING followers#and ofc this is bringing back the dumb re fandom insecurities ive had before#i just feel like an outsider in the serrennedy/re fandom. ppl like my posts occasionally but wont follow me#or interact at all beyond liking my posts. despite the fact i see them Frequently interact w some mutuals#i know it's stupid. no one is obligated to follow me/interact.#but it still upsets me and makws me wonder whats wrong w me since others get interaction and I dont#like if i stopped posting abt re entirely i think maybe 2 ppl at most would even notice. why do i bother w high effort posts#no one will notice if i abandon my details series. no ones waiting for part 2 of sw lab. no ones waiting for the post w luis's island lab#i dont regret all the hours i spent taking screenshots bc i personally enjoyed it. even tho it was tedious i loved doing it#i love scrolling thru my unorganized google drive of screenshots. looking for specific ones. using em as references while daydreaming/writin#but i dont enjoy the process of sorting and selecting pics for tumblr posts. ive just done it hoping others would appreciate them#so like if im getting like 20 notes that are mostly likes/reblogs w no comments#why should i do the hard part
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helladventurers · 2 years ago
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(long negative rant, be aware)
I think i'm starting to pinpoint one of the biggest reasons I can't really connect with the plot of botw and totk anymore 😫 and it's because I'm really tired of the "peaceful world whose entire source of conflict can all be pinned into a single, cartooningly evil individual/organization" trope
I'm rewatching some fire emblem playthroughs, another series who relies on that plot narrative too much, and it's exhausting to me 🫠 I thought that totk was a step down from botw plot wise, but it's really Nintendo's incapability and refusal to evolve and to make stories more complex than bog standard "evil always falls and light destroys darkness" kinda stories
#having watched a playthrough of revelations was eye opening lol#because that's an entire game/route who undoes all depth the story might have had just to introduce a big bad it can pins the blame upon#and that was the first moment i went 'ah this is a pet peeve of mine isn't it'#and like#fuck i don't care if you keep doing this to series like pokemon or mario#but you can't make a story on the scale of stuff like fire emblem or zelda where that's all it boils down to and expect me to stay invested#it doesn't help that them wanting to simplify everything also killed paper mario#which was one of my favorite series of all times#but at this point I can't even say it anymore because the amount of games i hate of the series outweight the amount of ones i love#and i that combined with everything nintendo has been doing#i'm just kinda done with them and their games#and hell i quoted pokemon a few tags ago but sumo and black & white had great stories#and again in sumo's case they just undid all the depth the story had in a later game#and they don't even pretend pokemon now is anything but a money printing machine for them#...also i fully realize that this might attract negativity considering i'm naming several series with giant rabbid fandoms#and if you're one of the people who might be angered at this#just don't waste your time and do something better than engaging with this post#bothering to engage with this post in a rude way will earn you nothing but a block#also i'm not saying fates had much depth to begin with just that they went and destroyed whatever depth there might've been there
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hinadori-chan · 2 years ago
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low key wanna like
set up a queue for posts i like that don’t circulate anymore so that way the recirculate but also i don’t spam but like
i don’t think i’ve ever used a queue before tbh lol
#listen i’ve always been the kind of blogger where you just know what i’m about when i’m about it#but since this is more of a fandom sidespace than my actual blog maybe that’s the better route?#cause there’s a lot of really good fanart and fanfics and analytical pieces that just#don’t get as much love since they got burried by time and i wanna bring them back to the forefront becuase they’re GOOD#and people put their heart and soul and time into them and i want them to be appreciated becuase i love them and they make me happy#but also i’ve hit post limit multiple times becuase if this blog and i’m scared it’ll happen again#cause i think you still hit it with the queue too#and like#i do actually use my main blog a log and the posts come from the same pool#(pro tip for new users btw if your side blogs are connected to your main account all your posts come from a pool that your account gets)#(kind of like a deck of cards that has to be distributed between all players)#ANYWAY it might be the better move for now#i’ll stew on that while i try and get myself out of writers block#cause i’ll need to get the first draft of peghawks2023 done this weekend if i want ot done in time for the 16th#need to figure out how to trick my brain into working#had this problem in school also#the only reason i passed is because most my teachers loved me and wanted me to succeed in spite of my executive dysfunction#and my other two teachers hated me so much (adhd kid with a pension to cause problems) that they passed me#just so they never had to see me again lmao#it’s okay feelings were mutual fuck those guys#(or love those guys for the teachers that adored me)#(hope they’re doing good)#what was i talking about#RIGHT queues and writing#yeah i should go do that okay bye for now!!!
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stevethehairington · 2 years ago
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rando q! but how long have you had this blog ?
omg so ive had this blog since january of 2013 so we have Officially surpassed 10 years 😂😂 WOW.
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bfpierce · 6 months ago
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#life is hell btw.#like sorry I’m being miserable this is a fandom blog lol but like#accepting my brother is alive but I’ll never really get to be with him again has been rough idk#and that’s just the latest thing there’s so much going on right now i don’t even know where to begin#i guess the thing is that with my brother he’s the only person in my family who likes me#like he’s the only one who really cares about me and tells me that and shows me that#no one else really likes me because I’m weird and hard to be around and stuff but my brother loves me#and he’s been struggling for years we both have but he’s had addiction problems and helping him has been hard but he was doing so well#and it’s hard to explain but it gets to a point where you can’t force help on them yknow#so you just have to resort to mourning while they’re still alive#I’m sorry i know that’s evil but there’s only so much i can do and I’ve done it all#I’ve been mourning him for years and now I’m mourning again#and i just feel awful#and i know it’s selfish to think this but my birthday is next week and it’s like he’s the only one who spends the day with me#my family will always have dinner with me and stuff but my brother knows i have no friends and it makes me sad being alone on my birthday#and he’s ALWAYS made an effort to be there on my birthday and spend the day with me no matter what#and now he’s in jail and will be in prison probably for the rest of my life#idk and really this is just one of many catastrophic things going on in my life i just need a break#and my breaks are immersing myself into my books and shows and movies#so thank you everyone for all the work you’ve been producing lately i know ot sounds silly but getting to come home and read your guys fics#and look at all of your art or even just reading your posts takes away so much of my stress and feeling of impending doom and helplessness#idk i just wanted to say I appreciate you all so much#please like if you read this though i can’t really talk about this stuff with anyone i just need to be heard
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 10 months ago
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for whom good omens is being written
Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:
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The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.
And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:
'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."
'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'
He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'
(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'
And, finally, this paragraph:
"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"
I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.
Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")
Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)
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vintagebuckybarnes · 4 months ago
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In Vino Veritas
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Pairing → Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Lab Assistant! Female! Reader
Total Wordcount → 3.5K
Summary → It all started when you and the Avengers enjoyed drinks during the afterparty back at the Avengers Tower. There, Tony revealed one of your deepest secrets, and even though you wish it had never come to light at first, you’re glad it did when the man you love stands on your doorstep, ready to start the rest of your life together.
Tags & Warnings → Semi-canon compliant, Avenger! Bucky Barnes, Female! Reader, Tony’s Lab Assistant! Reader, Bucky’s past as TWS is mentioned, emotional hurt/comfort, mutual pining, some cursing, and explicit sexual content.
Tags: Smut → Grinding, begging, some dirty talk, praise, teasing Bucky, protected sex, cowgirl position.
Story Rating → Explicit
Author’s Note → This story is beta'd by the wonderful @late-to-the-party-81, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I hope you'll all enjoy my story, which is filled with some angst, lots of fluff, and some smut to top it all off! 💜
Writing Prompts @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition → “There is no us.” | Riding | In vino veritas | “Touch me.” @fandom-free-bingo Medical Edition → Crush at first sight @julybreakbingo Post-JBB → Being confronted about their feelings for another
Tags List → If you’d like to be tagged in my stories, you can add yourself to my tag list here.
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The evening starts fine, good, even. But it all takes an unexpected turn when the man you work for - Tony Stark - reveals your secret. A secret that you’d only recently revealed to him.
Earlier that day, you’d spotted Bucky as he was working out and from that moment on your mind has been with him instead of your usual work and tasks.
“Hello, Y/N? Anyone home in there?” Tony asks as he lays a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. You look up at him with a worried look while he smiles back at you with a kind expression. A soft sigh escapes your lips as the thoughts in your head wander off again, specifically how his back looked underneath the tank top he wore in the gym while doing squats. Not only that, but you also can’t stop thinking about the way his ass looked in the sweatpants he wore. In a word, magnificent.
“Is everything okay with you? You’ve been a bit off your game today.” As Tony sits next to you, you put down the screwdriver you were holding - the one he asked you three times to pass to him - before turning to face him, your gaze focusing somewhere on the wall behind him. For a moment, there’s a silence between you as you gather the courage to tell him what’s been on your mind.
“Well, uhm- There’s something, or someone, that I can’t stop thinking about, and it’s taking over my mind every second of every day. It- It’s Bucky,” you say almost in a whisper. For a few seconds, Tony is completely silent as he lets the thought of you having a crush on one of his fellow Avengers sit in his mind. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he reaches out for your hand and takes it between his warm ones.
“You know that I’ll always support you in everything, right? I supported you when you expressed your desire to halt your life as an Avenger and retrain as my lab technician, and I supported you when you moved out of Avengers Tower to have your own home with more peace. This is not going to be any different. All I’m hoping for is that he will make you the happiest and best version of you, as you deserve nothing less.”
Tears brim at your waterline as Tony tells you this, and even though you deeply appreciate him, his words, and everything he has done for you, you can’t help but still feel a bit… odd about the fact you told him you’re having a crush on Bucky. That you have a crush on the man who was once the most feared assassin in the world under the hands of HYDRA.
“Now, can you hand me that screwdriver before your thoughts wander off to him again?” your boss asks in a teasing tone, making you smile as you grab it and hand it to him. Somehow, he always seems to know the right thing to say, and it's exactly why you enjoy spending time by his side while learning everything there is to know about his lab and what's going on in there.
Just as you’re about to get comfortable with another drink in your hand, you meet the gaze of the man you’re crushing on, and you feel heat coursing through your veins. The lines around his deep blue eyes intensify as he smiles at you, his attention making every last thought in your brain disappear. You’re so captivated by how Bucky looks at you that you miss your seat as you sit down. However, before you fall, you’re caught by a pair of solid arms that prevent you from hitting the floor.
“Careful there, Little One,” Thor says in his deep voice, his accent always making the butterflies in your stomach go wild. Even though you’d known Thor since you were young, you couldn’t help but get a little flustered by the nickname, and he smiled at you as you were finally sitting on the chair you intended to use.
“Thank you, Thor,” you whisper before sipping your cocktail. Around you, the conversations are starting to become a little blurry as you focus on Bucky and everything he has to say, his lips forming around the words effortlessly. When you suddenly feel a little shove against your arm, you yelp, making everyone go silent as they look at you.
“What did you do that for?!” you ask Thor in a low voice, but all he does is point to Tony, who obviously has something to say as he’s waving for everyone’s attention. There are moments when you enjoy the fact that alcohol can bring out people’s true feelings or thoughts, also known as in vino veritas, but not now. Oh no, now you wish you could disappear as you listen to the words coming out of Tony’s mouth.
“Guys, you really shouldn’t say this to Bucky or Y/N, but they’re having a massive crush on one another!” Tony says in a loud whispering tone, but what he fails to notice in his inebriated state is that you two are sitting right across from one another, enjoying the afterparty just like everyone else. Or at least, you were enjoying the afterparty until your secret got out.
The glass you were holding falls out of your hand before shattering into pieces on the floor, and your feet carry you as fast as they can away from the party and away from your worst nightmare come true. The music behind you fades away as you turn one corner after another, tears burning in your eyes as the event repeatedly replays in your mind. Your lungs start to burn as you keep running, the stinging feeling in your side increasing as you run out of the Avengers Tower into the night.
Meanwhile, Bucky’s world feels like it has taken a 180-degree turn. Mere minutes ago, he could only fantasize that you could have feelings for him, but now? A wave of disbelief washes over the super soldier, his expression showing pure surprise as he takes the moment in. For him, it was a crush at first sight from the momentyou walked into the training room on your first day. Over the years, his feelings have intensified, although he has only told Steve about his crush - or rather his now deep-rooted love - for you.
And yet, now that the pair of you have been confronted about your feelings for one another, he doesn’t know what to do. He has replayed the moment he’d confess his feelings to you more times than he can count in his mind, and in none of those versions, this is one of the scenarios that had appeared. It’s only when Steve grabs his arm and pulls him away that he seemingly comes back to reality again.
“Bucky, how does Tony know about your crush on Y/N? I mean, I’m, of course, fine with you sharing it, but-”
“I don’t know, Steve, I don’t know, and it kills me,” Bucky says as he runs his fingers through his cropped hair.“Fuck- I was planning on telling her this week but… but now it’s ruined, and I didn’t even get the chance to talk to her, and-” It’s all Bucky can say as he fights the urge to punch the wall with his metal fist, both hands clenched by his side as he tries to regulate his breathing. Without warning, Steve pulls him into a hug, and Bucky’s arms snake around his best friend's waist as his fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” Steve whispers, though he’s not entirely sure that’s true because he knows as well as anyone that things don’t always go back to how they were before. Still, Bucky decides to believe him as they stand there for a little while longer, and he soaks in every bit of comfort he can get for now. Lord knows he’s going to need it.
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The past few days have been strange, to say the least. You haven’t been to the Avengers Tower since Tony revealed your now not-so-secret crush on the super soldier. You’re afraid of what will happen if you do. This also means you haven’t seen Bucky in a few days, and you miss him. You miss hearing his laugh, and you miss seeing how his mouth turns slightly upward as you hand him one of your baked goods, but most of all, you miss how his arms feel when he pulls you in for a hug.
Just as you’re about to make yourself a cup of tea, you get pulled from your thoughts by a soft but familiar knock on the door; only one thing can make that sound: Bucky’s metal hand knocking against the wood. For a moment, you contemplate your actions, but decide to give him at least a chance to talk, especially as it wasn’t him who laid out your feelings in front of everyone.
“Bucky, hi,” you say softly as you take in his appearance, your heart sinking as you do. It’s evident he hasn’t slept at all the past few days. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn’t look as healthy as usual—more disheveled. The struggles he’s facing are apparent in his entire demeanor, and all you want to do is wrap him up in a warm blanket and cuddle him until the end of time.
“Hi,” he says hoarsely, and you step aside, allowing him to enter your apartment. He’s been here a few times already, and usually there’s a warmth radiating from you and every inch of the little place you call home, but ever since the party, it hasn’t been the same. It isn’t just the apartment, either. You feel different.
“Would you like some tea before we talk?” you ask to break the tension. “I was about to make some.”
He nods at you before wandering further into your apartment, and you head to the kitchen, picking out another mug for Bucky to use. Once he’s caught sight of your couch, he immediately takes a seat, a soft groan audible as he does. There aren’t many places more comfortable than the large couch that’s standing right here in your living room.
When you emerge a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies you baked fresh this morning, Bucky can’t help but smile at you. He gladly takes the tea with one of the cookies, as they’re his favorite, and when you sit down next to him, it feels just like it always has, as if nothing has changed. But you both know it has, and that’s why the super soldier’s now in your living room.
“So…” you start, unsure what to say now that he’s sitting on your couch. Bucky’s eyes are trained on the steaming tea in his hands, his thoughts going a mile a minute as he’s thinking about what he wants to say - other than confessing his love for you.
“So… uhm, we missed seeing you around the Tower,” Bucky starts, though you both know it’s mostly him who has missed seeing you there. You have always been a staple there during his mornings as you make him a cup of coffee, and during movie nights, you were always the one he could sit next to and enjoy the movie, but now that you’re not there, it’s like a piece of soul has left the Tower with you.
“I mean, yeah. It’s been a bit awkward for me to go back after what happened a few days ago,” you tell him, and a shudder of horror runs down your spine at the thought of having to face Tony again. A smile tugs at the corners of Bucky’s lips as he thinks back to what happened that night, a happy memory of your first meeting resurfacing in the back of his mind as he does.
“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes. I’ve made some chocolate chip cookies, if you want some. However, I should warn you, Tony’s been on the prowl since I took them out of the oven, so I’ll advise you to be quick,” you say with a glare towards Tony, who has been eyeing them up since he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. For the first time in a long time, Bucky showed something akin to a smile, and everyone looked at each other to ensure they saw it, too.
“Thank you,” he says lowly, grabbing one of the smaller ones on the plate, followed by a cup of coffee, before swiftly leaving the kitchen to spend more time in his room. Before Bucky even left the kitchen, Tony was on the cookies as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, and this time you let him.
“Can I- Is it okay if I tell you something? Because if I don’t say it now, I don’t know if I ever will,” Bucky says softly, and you nod before repositioning yourself so that you’re facing him. His gaze is still trained on his mug as he thinks carefully about his next words, afraid he might accidentally say the wrong thing.
“Tony was right. He is right, actually. When he said, we’re crushing on each other. I’ve been crushing on you since you offered me those chocolate chip cookies when Tony threatened to eat them all before anyone else had a chance to get them. It was like a switch flipped inside me back then, and I haven’t been the same since,” Bucky says, his mouth now in a line as he tells you about his feelings.
“Each time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing an angel, and every time I hear your voice, it’s like a little piece of my soul is healing, too. I find myself drawn to you in every room and wonder what life has in store for us. But deep down inside, I know there is no ‘us’ yet. But I want there to be us. I want you, Y/N. I want you to be mine, in whatever capacity you’ll have me. If you want to stay friends, that’s okay with me, but if you want more, I’ll happily accept every bit of love you’re willing to offer me.”
Once Bucky’s done, you’re unsure what to say. What to think. What to do. You want to say that the feelings between you are mutual, that you’re in love with him and that you want nothing more than to be his, but something inside you is stopping you. So, instead of saying anything, you place your hand over his flesh limb, and his eyes slip shut at the feeling of your soft fingers against his rough hand.
“Bucky.” His name is a whisper on your lips, but it’s enough to make him look at you, to meet your gaze.
“I’m in love with you, too.”
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As soon as the words leave your lips, Bucky carefully put his tea on the coffee table before hauling you onto his lap, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your waist as your lips interlock in a passionate dance. He can’t get enough of your soft mouth slotting together with his and the way his tongue fights for dominance with yours as your fingers dig into his neck. It’s been a long time since you’ve felt a strong connection with someone, and you’re happy to explore it with Bucky.
Your hips grind over his growing length of their own volition,your body looking for any bit of friction it can get. Without warning, one of Bucky’s hands slides lower until he’s cupping your ass, making you gasp into his mouth as a result. Bucky can’t help but smile into the kiss as he pulls you impossibly closer, your legs spreading just a bit further as you sink against his muscular body.
“Hmm, I’ve been wanting this - you - for so long,” he says between the kisses trailing your jaw towards your ear, his teeth nipping on your earlobe as your head lolls to the side. With every passing second, your thoughts are melting away more and more, and all that’s left inside your mind is Bucky. Soon, his other hand joins the first as he helps you grind onto him, a groan falling from his lips as he sets a perfect pace for you both.
“B-Bucky—" his name sounds more like a whine than anything else. “I—I want you.”
“But you already have me, pretty girl, ‘m right here,” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, his hands continuing to help you grind until you’re a complete mess for him. Your shorts are ruined, your arousal soaking through them and onto the bulge in his black jeans, much to Bucky’s joy. He was wondering what it would take to get you to this point, and it turns out it won’t take much.
He smiles against the skin of your neck, where he’s taking his time to mark you with hickeys and small bitemarks, all of which leave you a bit more of a moaning, begging mess on his lap, much to his pride. When one of your hands moves away from his neck and down his torso, he quickly catches on to what you’re doing. “Someone’s a little impatient today, huh?”
“Yes, oh god, yes! I need you to touch me, Bucky. I want to feel you inside me as you make me fall apart on your cock, and I need you to fuck me like there’s no tomorrow!” Your voice sounds more breathy than usual, but every care you thought you had has gone out the window. All you want is Bucky and his cock to ride, until you’re orgasming so hard and long you can’t remember your name.
“Okay, I will. Don’t you worry about anything, okay? Let me take care of you, and I’ll give you everything you need and more,” he reassures you in a shushing voice. You nod before kissing him again, which immediately deepens before he gently helps you get up, allowing you to take off your panties and shorts, and he can take off his pants and boxershorts, too. As soon as you’re both freed from your last pieces of clothing, you hand him a condom you retrieved from the side table drawer while he took the time to undress himself.
“Hmmm, looks so thick,” you tell him as you look at it with wide eyes, wondering how he’s going to fit inside you as you’re positioning yourself on his lap once more, your legs bracketing his thicks thighs as you get comfortable.
“I know, but I’m gonna go slow. Wouldn’t want to hurt you and your perfect, sweet little pussy.” He smiles as he holds his cock in place, your pliant body sinking onto him slowly as your fingers dig into his shoulders to steady yourself. Your hiss of pleasure is audible and your face contorts at the slight sting of him stretching you, but just like he promised, Bucky is taking it slow to ensure you’ll both have the most amazing first time.
As soon as you’re fully seated on his lap, your body goes limp against him, your face tucked in the crook of his neck as you adjust to his girth, and Bucky places soft kisses on your head while praising you through it all. “You’re doing so well for me, baby. Such a good girl for me, letting me take the lead and giving you exactly what you need.”
A small smile appears on your face as you look up at him with big, doe-like eyes, and he can’t help but smile back as the back of his fingers gently caress your cheek. He may have thought you were beautiful before, but nothing compares to this moment. 
“I love you, Y/N, and I promise to take care of you with every fiber of my being,” he whispers, his lips sealing his promise against your cheek. Your eyes fall shut at his words, and his hand moves down your side until it’s on your hip again, ready for you to let him know when you’re good to go. Your bodies work in complete sync with one another with every rise and fall of your chest, and his hands guide you beautifully as you slowly sink and rise on his length.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans, and it doesn’t take long for both of you to find your highs for the first time, and they’re serving as a promise of everything else that’s still to come in this lifetime. A few days ago, you and Bucky didn’t even know you felt the same about one another, but now you’re sharing the start of the rest of your lives, and it’s all thanks to Tony. Because without him, you wouldn’t have been able to tell the man of your dreams how much you love him.
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Masterlist → Bucky Barnes
GIF: Source → All the other graphics you see are made by @vintagebuckybarnes
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emometalhead · 2 years ago
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Ashley!! Curious to know what you think of Electric Touch and also what the wider FOB fandom thinks of it :)
I am entirely obsessed!! I've been trying to equally listen to the entire album, and I've failed spectacularly lol. Electric Touch is easily my most listened to on the whole album.
I think Taylor and Patrick's voices really suit each other! The bridge drives me crazy!! They complement each other so well!! Plus even beyond the vocals I like the lyrics!! "All I know is this could either break my heart or bring me back to life" is a feeling I can totally understand despite never being in a relationship.
Obviously I'm biased toward both parties, but I can safely say this song did not disappoint me! It's making me want a full collaboration between Fall Out Boy (the whole band) and Taylor even more than I already did. In the meantime, I'm happy to enjoy Electric Touch!!
I've lowkey been avoiding seeking out opinions from the wider FOB fandom. The Swemos (Swiftie emos) seem really excited about it! Like some people want it to play at Emo Nite events even. I've seen a couple older FOB fans say they like it. Some FOB fans are upset that Electric Touch is FOB's top song on Spotify rn, but I think they should have anticipated this. Also I know some people complained that the song is too pop, but again I don't know why they would expect otherwise. So long story short, I'm not sure what the consensus is or if there is a consensus! It would hurt my heart a little bit too much to see FOB fans trashing Taylor or vice versa.
Thank you so much for asking, and I'm sorry in advance about the lengthy tags!!!!! Taylor and Fall Out Boy are not subjects I'm capable of being concise about!!!!!
#also I just love that Patrick got to do the ohohohoh thing. he always nails it. that man's vocals will never cease to impress me#on the fan reaction thing I haven't seen any new negative takes on Taylor from FOB fans but I've seen some pretty rude stuff about Patrick#needless to say I blocked those people#honestly I feel like I've seen harsher reactions about Taylor from Paramore/Hayley fans which is a whole other thing#I really love the song with all of my heart. it won't leave my head. it's truly everything I wanted it to be.#I can let you know if I see more FOB fan opinions but like I said I'm pretty much avoiding them beyond Swemos#oh also with the pop thing I think some FOB fans want to forget that FOB is a POP punk band and Patrick is a pop music fan#most of the outrage I saw from FOB fans was about the whole band being named when only Patrick was involved#my take on that is it's a lot of exposure for FOB and I think Patrick would rather give them all that exposure rather than himself#especially given inital reactions to his own solo music#the rest of the band has been super supportive of the song though so I think some people are just trying to find a reason to be mad#sorry these tags are so long LOL#I thought I was done talking in the post but I was VERY wrong#idk this might be where you're fine ending the conversation but if you want my pettier thoughts about the fandoms text me lol#long long long story short! I love the song! I'm mostly avoiding fan reactions but I've seen some interesting (bad) takes on both ends#asks#fiona
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